i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
