I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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