so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
