Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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