you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
