Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
