I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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