bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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