Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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