i think my tv is drunk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
