Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
