fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
