there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
