no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this just has baby written all over it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
