I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
