I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
