She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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