Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
