just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
