She's JV to your varsity
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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