why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
