i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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