will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is this the sara with the beer cane?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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