I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My pussy is not your playground.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
