but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
