Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
