Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
