She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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