Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
