Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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