I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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