Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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