I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
