he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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