Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
this hospital has no fireball
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize