I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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