our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
we're so committed to being not committed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
