She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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