i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
