Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
