have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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