It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
