I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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