Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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