That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
