You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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