How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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