Christians are straight up FREAKS
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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