The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?