so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.