Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy

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(586): We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy http://tfl.nu/9kor

Replies (3) Good night (1653) Bad night (620)
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(818): View more from California

people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.

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(818): people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight. http://tfl.nu/8h1f

Replies (7) Good night (3159) Bad night (675)
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(415): View more from California

Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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(415): Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius. http://tfl.nu/jxsz

Replies (21) Good night (5033) Bad night (959)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?

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(865): Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious? http://tfl.nu/lazc

Replies (106) Good night (6923) Bad night (1098)
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(512): View more from Texas

got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule

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(512): got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule http://tfl.nu/94hw

Replies (16) Good night (7081) Bad night (848)
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(650): View more from California

they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.

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(650): they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids. http://tfl.nu/zjz8

Replies (6) Good night (7636) Bad night (1095)
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(206): View more from Washington

i want to swaddle you in tequila

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(206): i want to swaddle you in tequila http://tfl.nu/ks6c

Replies (4) Good night (2756) Bad night (922)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.

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(228): I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me. http://tfl.nu/ndpv

Replies (6) Good night (2493) Bad night (978)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

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(330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl

Replies (4) Good night (2491) Bad night (763)
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(713): View more from Texas

My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.

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(713): My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them. http://tfl.nu/xfe6

Replies (2) Good night (850) Bad night (399)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.

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(337): When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/007t

Replies (1) Good night (589) Bad night (939)
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(757): View more from Virginia

No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.

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(757): No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance. http://tfl.nu/6tt7

Replies (0) Good night (838) Bad night (366)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere

(514): View more from Quebec

Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever

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(613): I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere (514): Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever http://tfl.nu/1t8i

Replies (6) Good night (1320) Bad night (419)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.

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(306): He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/1jgc

Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (339)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.

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(775): Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/3l8e

Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (322)

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