SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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