To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck