can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
