Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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