Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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