We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
