doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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