This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize