my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
