How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
