Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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