If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
